By Robert Pringles | Rockport Correspondent
ROCKPORT — In a historic vote that future generations will no doubt study with awe and mild tinnitus, the Town of Rockport has not only reversed its gas leaf blower ban, but swung the pendulum straight into a full-throated mandate. As of June 1, 2025, every household is now legally required to operate a gas-powered leaf blower for at least 15 minutes a day, rain or shine, leaves or no leaves.
The new ordinance, known as the Compulsory Leaf Liberation Act, was passed overwhelmingly after passionate debate at Town Meeting, with supporters arguing that the gentle background roar of synchronized blowers would reawaken the town’s identity and sense of unity.
Supporters of the measure argue that years of anti-blower sentiment had eroded the very foundations of Rockport’s civil society. “There was a time you could barely hear yourself think over the roar of a good solid blower,” said one longtime voter wistfully. “Now it’s all crickets, kids laughing, and the wind rustling through trees like we live in some dystopian nightmare.”
Under the new law, households will have a short grace period to acquire an approved model of gas-powered blower, with discounts negotiated at several local dealerships. Homeowners who fail to comply will be subject to escalating penalties, starting with a $100 fine and culminating in mandatory attendance at a town-run “Blower Boot Camp,” a program promising to “turn even the softest hands into calloused instruments of suburban order.”
“This isn’t just about leaves anymore,” one enthusiastic resident said as they revved a Stihl BR 800 in the Rockport Middle and High School parking lot immediately after the vote. “It’s about pride. It’s about reclaiming our town from the sinister forces of silence and bird noises.”
Critics of the ordinance attempted to raise concerns about air quality, wildlife disruption, and the psychological toll of living under a permanent sound curtain. Their arguments were largely drowned out — literally — by a small group of pro-blower demonstrators who had the foresight to bring working machines to the meeting. Attendees trying to object were met with strategic gusts of pine needles and political theory at 140 decibels.
There is an exception written into the law: residents over the age of 85 are exempt, but are “strongly encouraged” to participate by supervising neighborhood blower drills and offering tips on achieving maximum decibel output.
In celebration of the vote, the town has already announced its first annual “BlowFest,” scheduled for mid-summer. Planned events include speed-blowing competitions, artistic leaf arrangement contests, and a grand finale wherein volunteers will attempt to simultaneously lift a Volkswagen Beetle using only blower power.
Some residents have expressed cautious optimism. “At least now everyone’s equally miserable,” said one neighbor, shouting over the 112-decibel chorus already erupting on his street by 7 a.m. the next morning. “No one’s special anymore. We’re all just cogs in the great municipal noise machine.”
In Rockport now, silence is no longer golden. It’s a ticketable offense.
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