Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg made a surprise visit to Gloucester’s historic waterfront this week, inspecting a bin of fresh cod destined for the company’s newly announced Meta Strategic Codfish Reserve.
“We’re diversifying our assets,” Zuckerberg said, gently inserting RFID tracking chips into each the gills of each fish. “In a volatile digital economy, nothing holds value quite like a pile of unsmiling, dead-eyed fish.”
Local fishermen seemed both puzzled and intrigued by the move. “If he wants to pay tech stock prices for groundfish, I’ll start hauling again tomorrow,” said Dave Ferrara, owner of the drydocked F/V Moustache Rider.
Meta declined to comment on exactly how the fish would be integrated into the company’s long-term strategy, but one employee, who spoke under the condition of anonymity, hinted at “new, immersive olfactory experiences” for the Metaverse.
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