By Phil Harmonica | Manchester Correspondent
MANCHESTER — Intermunicipal tensions between Gloucester and Manchester-by-the-Sea flared this week as members of the Manchester Defense Force (MDF) conducted combat drills and tactical marching at the border with Gloucester on Route 127.
The drills come amid escalating calls by the Magnolia Separatist Movement for the neighborhood to secede from Gloucester, insisting that the neighborhood’s character is more aligned with Manchester’s hedge-lined driveways and tasteful hydrangeas than Gloucester’s brash, barnacled charm.
The Movement has gained increased visibility in recent months — along with allegations of funding for the cause coming from Manchester itself. Buoyed by a modest but highly committed following of residents in the comments section of posts on Facebook and Nextdoor, the separatists are issuing demands that include dual-library card privileges and complete local control of Magnolia Pier.
“These are just routine annual preparedness exercises,” said MDF spokesperson Lt. Brock Wellington, standing in front of a stack of artisanal sandbags. “This has nothing to do with Magnolia, Gloucester, or the regrettable skirmish on Gray Beach last summer. Also, our new drone program is purely for monitoring seagull activity.”
Gloucester officials declined to comment, citing a long-standing policy of not acknowledging things that happen on the mainland. Sources inside City Hall, however, confirmed that Ward 5 Councilor Sean Nolan googled “Manchester invasion protocols” and “how to dig a foxhole” during a briefing with the mayor’s command staff.
On Tuesday morning, tensions reached a mild boil when a Gloucester DPW vehicle briefly crossed the municipal border. MDF patrols quickly surrounded the vehicle and offered the driver a complimentary cucumber water before escorting him back across the line with a warning.
Despite these tensions, many locals remain bemused.
“Honestly, I just thought it was a new CrossFit group,” said St. Joseph Lane resident Carol DiPietro. “But then one of them bayoneted a telephone pole and yelled ‘Sic semper tyrannis!’ and I figured I should go home.”
The Massachusetts Office of Municipal Cohesion has offered to mediate talks between the towns, suggesting a symbolic tug-of-war match in Magnolia Park followed by a shared lobster roll supper.
The MDF has posted a recruitment flyer on the bulletin board outside Manchester’s library offering free polo shirts, marching lessons, and “light confrontational dialogue training.” A Magnolia resident was seen reading it and muttering, “Huh… not bad.”
Councilor Nolan could not be reached for comment, but was seen purchasing shovels at the Building Center.
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