By Phil Beacon | State House Correspondent
BOSTON — A new political movement is brewing in Massachusetts — and it’s hot, sweet, and comes with a side of hash browns.
The Don’t Underestimate a New Kind of Socialism Party, also known as D.U.N.K.S., launched its inaugural campaign Monday morning on the steps of the State House with promises of equity, affordability, and medium regular regulation reform.
“Massachusetts runs on progressive values and coffee,” said party co-founder and barista-turned-political-theorist Shayla Venti. “We’re the only party that believes your rights should be as bottomless as your coffee refill, your neighbors should be as reliable as your drive-thru crew, and billionaires should be taxed more than your munchkins.”
Inspired by Scandinavian models of social democracy and the enduring power of pink-frosted branding, D.U.N.K.S. proposes universal free Wi-Fi, paid coffee breaks, and a wealth tax calculated by syrup swirl per capita.
The platform blends familiar Bay State ideals with new-wave caffeine populism. Their flagship proposal? The “One Cup Act,” guaranteeing every citizen access to one medium coffee per day — subsidized by a modest surtax on yachts, corporate jets, and Nantucket.
“It’s about dignity,” said Gloucester resident Linda Cappuccina, who signed the D.U.N.K.S. petition outside the Washington Street Dunkin drive-thru. “Nobody should have to start their day without coffee because Jeff Bezos needed a new spaceship.”
Critics, including Massachusetts’ more traditional political parties, have dismissed the movement as unserious. “What’s next, socialism at Starbucks?” said one local official who requested anonymity for fear of voter backlash. “These people are dunking the Constitution in cream.”
But D.U.N.K.S. is undeterred. With over 3,000 followers on their official Instagram and a growing grassroots campaign spanning from Fall River to Fitchburg, the party is eyeing a slate of local candidates in 2026.
“Call it frothy if you want,” said Venti, holding up a campaign mug emblazoned with ‘No Billionaire Runs on Empty’. “But you’ll see who’s laughing when our state budget includes a donut line item.”
Their next event is a community forum in Salem titled “From Latte to Legislature: Brewing Fairness, One Sip at a Time.” Citizens interested in running for office from local boards to the State House are encouraged to attend.
As Gloucester gears up for a mayoral election, rumors swirl that a local candidate is already drafting a proposal to turn City Hall into a combination municipal building and Dunkin’ satellite kiosk. Because in Massachusetts, all politics is local — and so is the coffee.
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