By J.B. Fitzsimmons | Gloucester Correspondent
GLOUCESTER — Tensions rose and flags waved inexplicably sideways Thursday morning as the elusive and possibly fictional entity known as Mowana was allegedly sighted approaching the Boulevard in a “pretty pink boat, sailor style ookay,” according to a note that accompanied an anonymous package delivered to The Dogtown Reader, containing several photos of the alleged entity.
The blurry photographs, apparently taken from a moving sedan through two layers of windshield and one layer of emotion, appear to show… something. Possibly a boat. Possibly a ham. Eyewitnesses could not confirm.
“I knew she’d come back,” whispered Jared Hamester, standing on Stacy Boulevard wearing three pairs of sunglasses and a bib. “The signs were all there. The tide reversed briefly. Dunkin’ was out of trassifiers. The gulls stopped screaming and started whispering.”
City officials have not issued a statement, though a source in the Gloucester Harbormaster office, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, “I don’t know what a Mowana is. Please stop faxing us shrimp tails labeled ‘evidence.’”
More as this develops. Or unravels. Or both. Also, how dare you.
The Dogtown Reader 